Spontaneity (Fandom: X Japan RPF, original date of publication: April 6th, 2019)

“That’s really...Oh, the poor thing!”  


“I know. His entire lower half- it’s the most severe case…”


Would you fuckers stop whispering like I can’t hear you? Hide thought, his face uncomfortably pressed into the pillow. I know. I know what’s going on with me, that I’m some spider freak now because the universe has a sense of humor, you don’t need to hide it from me like I’m a damn child.


A wrinkled hand pushed open the curtains surrounding his bed. “Matsumoto-san, I’m back.”


Hide rolled his eyes. Not him.


“So, the genetic tests came up inconclusive, though there is some good news- you still have 60% genetic data in common with your pre-metamorphosis self!”


Why would that be good news? Hide thought as he tilted his head to the side, catching Dr. Kobayashi out of the corner of his eye. The doctor was continuing on, talking about how fascinating this case was and how this was the first true spider centaur (spidertaur?) in Japanese borders, and on and on and on…


Fuck you. Hide wanted to kick him in the face so badly, but just as he was winding up (still had to get used to these new legs, after all) the curtains were flung open.


“Breakfast for Matsumoto-san!


Oh, god, why the fuck does that smell so good? “That better have some coffee in it.”


The orderly smiled, but Hide could see that she was trying not to look at him. “No, sir, just...some sort of meat.” She placed the foam cup near him before flinging aside the curtains and leaving as quickly as humanly possible.


Hide reached over and grabbed the cup and started to sip from it, sighing at the taste. Took them long enough to figure out I couldn’t eat anything that wasn’t liquid. Some doctors. You’d think that the instant they figured out they’ve got a spider freak on their hands who’s puking up everything he eats, they’d realize he needs to be eating liquid foods. Yaknow, like real spiders?


Dr. Kobayashi interrupted Hide’s train of thought. “You’re making excellent progress on your physical therapy. I’m honestly so proud of you. You know, I was a bit skeptical when they told me that the patient would only need two weeks to get used to the new limbs, but you can walk with ease now!”


Oh, fuck, today’s release day. Being released from the hospital meant that Yoshiki would have to pick him up. That would also mean that Yoshiki would have to see him, Matsumoto Hideto, spider freak in the flesh. Hide ran his fingers down his lower half, taking in the eight furry legs, before tracing back up to his face, sharp, needle-like fangs poking out from his lips, three extra sets of eyes bulging, the sharp planes of his face more appropriate for an alien than a human being.   God, it’s going to be a miracle if he doesn’t run away screaming. We’ve talked over the phone, I’m supposed to live with him on account of the whole transformed lower half thing. Ha. Live with him. If I’d told myself a few weeks earlier that I’d be moving in with my boyfriend, I’d be thrilled. Absolutely over the moon. But now, it feels like I just want to hide away forever.


As Hide shifted his weight to the side, attempting to see out of the curtains, he thought about the day he transformed, the day his life irrevocably changed forever.


It was a cold spring day, and Hide was tired. It was the kind of tired that stuck with you, deep in your bones, that no matter how much you slept or drank still stuck with you. He’d woken up early that Sunday morning and immediately sprinted to the bathroom, throwing the sheets aside. When he was done throwing up, Yoshiki holding his hair out of the way, he opened his eyes to see a mess of whole food, cereal and chunks of meat and apple all mixed into one at the bottom of the toilet.


“What the fuck. That can’t be healthy, right?” Hide grabbed the sides of the toilet, pulling himself up to turn towards Yoshiki.


“Yeah. You weren’t drinki-” Yoshiki suddenly stopped.




“Hide, y...you might want to look in the mirror…”


Hide turned around and nearly passed out. There was a second pair of eyes where his eyebrows should be, buglike and bright red, as well as another set of deep slits over his temples.


“What the f...f...fuck! That...that can’t be normal!” Hide suddenly doubled over, his legs feeling like they were splitting in two.


“Jesus! Fuck!”


Yoshiki rolled up Hide’s pant leg and nearly fainted. His leg was covered in a mixture of thick hair and chitin and was bending in ways that no normal human leg should be bending.


Yoshiki wrapped his arms around Hide’s midsection, lifting him up. “I’m going to take you to the hospital, okay?” Pleasejustletthisbeabaddreampleasejustletthisbeabaddream.


Hide threw his head backward, letting out a pained laugh. “My hero.”


There was no need to continue thinking about that shit , Hide thought. By the time he’d gotten to the hospital they were already overwhelmed with cases of spontaneous transformation of body parts, so he was put in a room and curtains were drawn (best to spare him some measure of dignity), leaving Hide to suffer the painful transformation alone. Yoshiki had come to see him once, near the start of his hospital stay. Hide had screamed at him to get the fuck out and almost hit him on the head with a vase.


Of course, he’d apologized like he always did whenever he lost his temper, but he’d begged his friends to keep Yoshiki away from the hospital at all costs. He didn’t know why at first, but as he finished up his metamorphosis, he realized why. Yoshiki would flip his shit if he saw him like this, a spider freak who’s twitchy and can’t move without knocking things over and can’t kiss, and can’t have sex the normal way.


So Hide had made plans, and secretly hoped that Yoshiki would change his mind, that some other form of accessible housing would spring out of the aether, but the day had come, and Yoshiki would be on his way in- fuck, is it really two hours?




Hide was standing upright in the center of the formerly-crowded room, waiting for Yoshiki to walk in that door. Dread was building in his gut, his heart pounding.


Is it too late to jump out the window? I’m a spidertaur, I might be able to climb walls.


The door creaked open.


I guess not.


Yoshiki stepped in, his face alight. “Hide, are you ready to-”


Here it comes. Hide tried to put on a grin that only succeeded in pushing out his fangs more.


Yoshiki’s eyebrows darted upwards.  An expression of shock was frozen on his face as he took three tentative steps backward like he was locked in a room with a wild animal.


Something ugly twisted in Hide’s chest. Don’t get too sad. You knew it was coming. You knew the instant he saw what you’ve become he’d leave you in an instant, stupid. Hide bit his lip, to try and hold back the tears, but a thin trickle of blue blood streamed down his chin in a mockery of tears.


Yoshiki breathed in deeply. “So, a...are you ready to go?”


Hide shut his eyes tightly, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to leak out. “Y...You don’t have to pretend if you don’t want to, y...you know.”


Yoshiki tilted his head. “What?”

“I mean, you don’t have to pretend that you...you know, want me around.”  Hide shifted awkwardly.


“Why wouldn’t I want you around? You’re my boyfriend.”  


Hide gestured to his lower half, his mind racing. “Look at me! I have a tarantula for legs! Who would want that?”


Yoshiki tilted his head. “I don’t know...some guys might have a thing for that?”


Hide rolled his eyes. Seriously? Spider legs, Yo-chan. We might not be able to have sex the normal way!”


Yoshiki laughed. “You have hands, right? And a mouth? I think I’ll manage.”


Hide stood dumbstruck. “I have fangs. Sharp ones. Do you really want me to stab you in the dick? Or kissing! Yeah, kissing. You could lose your tongue!”


Yoshiki walked over and grabbed Hide’s hand. “If you honestly think that the risk of losing a chunk of flesh will keep me from kissing my pretty pink spider, then-” He jumped up and pecked Hide on the lips. “You’ve got another thing coming.”


Hide was still reeling, trying to awkwardly brush away the dried tears on his face. “I can’t eat normal food anymore, so we can’t go on normal dates. I’m still getting used to these limbs, so I might knock something over that you like and break it. I-”


Yoshiki threw his arms around Hide’s shoulders. “I think at this point, you’re just coming up with excuses to break up with me. If you really want to…”


“No! Absolutely not! Just…”


“Just what?”


Hide glanced off to the side, suddenly so embarrassed that he’d thought Yoshiki would throw him away like that. “I’ve heard stories. The guy I shared my room with, his girlfriend broke up with him when she found out he’d become some sort of slime person. And I’ve heard stories about the girl in the room next to me, she-”


Yoshiki tightened his grip around Hide. “Did you honestly think I was so shallow that I’d break up with you over your metamorphosis?”


Hide rolled his eyes. “Yes.”


Yoshiki laughed.


“No, really. You’re always going on about how hot and sexy and cute I am, and now I’m some sort of freaky monster, and-”


“I think those fall under the normal realm of compliments, sweetheart.” Yoshiki was trying to hold back giggles. “But if you want me to stop…”


Hide threw up his hands. “Don’t stop!”


Yoshiki was quietly laughing now. “Although, there is one thing…”




“I think you might be taller than me now.”


Hide started laughing. “Seriously! I’m taller than you?”


“Hey, I didn’t want to admit it at first, but if it’s true…”


Hide started laughing, the first real joy he’d felt since the metamorphosis bubbling up inside of him and bursting out.


“Your smile is still cute, love, in case you were wondering.”


Hide fixed Yoshiki in his gaze. “What do you want? You normally aren’t this free with the love’s and the sweetheart’s.


“Nothing! Can’t I just be nice to the love of my life without being accused of this kind of slanderous nonsense?”


Hide tilted his head. “You want something, don’t you?”


“Actually, there is one thing…” A wistful expression suddenly crossed Yoshiki’s face.




“Can I touch your spider body?”


Thisisitholyshithe’sgoingtoleavemerightthisinstant! “Sure.”


Yoshiki kneeled on the hospital floor, running his palm across one of Hide’s legs. “Holy shit, that’s so cool.”


Hide jerked upwards, feeling something like a shiver running across his legs, no, across his fur. “I think I can feel you.”


“No shit, I’m touching your leg.”


“Not like that! Like, I can feel you in my fur.”


Yoshiki looked up, an expression of childlike wonder on his face. “Your fur feels weird. It’s like this mixture of bristles and velvet.” He continued stroking.


The door swung open. “Matsumoto-san, Hayashi-san, it’s time to go.”


Yoshiki jumped up, an expression of shock on his face. “Oh, shit.” He offered his hand to Hide. “Well, Hide, should I carry thou across the threshold to our new abode?”


Hide laughed. “Oh, my darling savior, I would like nothing more.”